


Yeah, We've All Heard That One Before

by MarchWindsAprilShowers



Series: Quote Prompts [7]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Childfree, M/M, Realization, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 20:46:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16205360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarchWindsAprilShowers/pseuds/MarchWindsAprilShowers
Summary: “You’ll be a great dad someday."





	Yeah, We've All Heard That One Before

“You’ll be a great dad someday, you know.” Sanji says as his lover tucks Chopper into his hammock who had passed out at his desk. 

The sniper only rolled his eyes. “Everyone says that.” He made his way for the door to go back to his factory. His new weapon wasn’t going to work on itself. 

“I actually mean it.” The chef followed him out and onto the deck. “You can deal with a crying brat better than anyone I know.” 

Usopp stopped, and looked at him. “I don’t mean it that way. It’s because I don’t want to have kids. Ever. And people automatically think I do just because I’m nice or if I befriend them.”

Curly eyebrows shot up in surprise.  _ “Really?  _ How come?” 

He was given a half smile. “I don’t want the adventure to end. I don’t want to have to put anything on hold. I like having all the time and money in the world to do whatever I want. Besides, the life of a pirate is unpredictable and I have  _ enough  _ to worry about.” Then he looked a little sad, his eyes finding the floor. “I also wouldn’t want to just abandon a child of mine like what my father did to me.”

Sanji nodded. What was there to misunderstand? “I get it...but,  _ damn,  _ am I fucking  _ relieved!”  _

Usopp raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t want any kids either!” He exclaimed excitedly. “I don’t even  _ like  _ kids and I sure as hell don’t want anything in my way too! I thought this might be an issue in the future for us, so I’m really glad!”

The younger man gave him a surprised smile. “Dude, are you serious?” He gave a relieved sigh himself. “This is so cool! I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t said to me ‘you’ll change your mind someday’.” He mocked in a wiry voice.

Sanji groaned in annoyance. “I’ve heard that phrase my entire life, especially from people who could barely live because of how many crotch apples they popped out.” 

Usopp threw his head back and laughed. “But, can we agree on one thing if we were to ever ‘settle down’?” 

“What?” 

“Dogs?” He asks, holding out his hand.

The blonde shook it firmly, sealing the deal. “Dogs.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a protest fic against the writers who always force an amazing adventure to end by making the characters have kids. I know I’m a rare breed of writer to have my ships be childfree (if there isn’t a child involved already), but I’d rather continue to enjoy their adventure than end it in such a horrible and cliche way (as well as make them suffer). Not sure if you can tell, but I’m a childfree woman. The cons of having a child COMPLETELY outweigh the pros. 
> 
> Never ask a fic from me about making them have kids, ‘cause you’re not gonna get it. If you want to ruin their lives and adventure so bad, write it your damn self. Harsh? Yeah, but I’m so sick of seeing ‘and then they had kids and lived happily ever after’. 
> 
> Case closed. 
> 
> FACT: Dogs are SO much better than some humanoid blob of poop and slobber. 
> 
> Got any quotes? Something completely outrageous or more to add? Leave them in the reviews below or PM me!


End file.
